Why You Don't Want a Guy Who Thinks You're Perfect

Last night, something happened that made me realize just how blessed I am –in several ways. I moved into my dorm at my dream school Wednesday and so far I like it. I really do, but it’s definitely been an adjustment. Overnight, I went from being an only child to having a roommate (two roommates come Sunday) and several other housemates. I’m having to get used to all the comings and goings, the awkward feeling of knowing that at any given moment while you’re preparing to take a shower someone could walk in on you, and sleeping in a new bed. It’s really NOT that bad, but sometimes I tend to complain. Especially when I start to feel overwhelmed.

So, when I got into my boyfriend’s truck last night I was still a little overwhelmed. During the course of our conversation I made the statement, “I’m just tired. Ugh. Having to sleeping on that thing I have to call a bed now is rough.”

I didn’t think about what I said when I said it, but my boyfriend’s response hit me hard. In that gentle way he has of delivering his brutal honesty, he replied, “Sounds kinda spoiled.”

For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. “I guess I am kinda spoiled,” I finally admitted. Graciously, he changed the subject.

I know you’re probably a little confused about where this is going. Stereotypically, I would write a post about how I am blessed to have a bed when others do not. I’m blessed to be at my dream school when there are people who can’t afford to go to college at all. I’m blessed to have all these new people in my life. I’m blessed. I really am. I know that, but that’s not what I’m talking about today.

Y’all, I am blessed to have a boyfriend who doesn't think I’m perfect.

 

I emphasize that because this is something I see/hear all the time. Especially on Facebook/Pinterest. Statements like this:

“My boyfriend thinks I’m perfect. =)"

“I want a man who loves me like my dog… because my dog thinks I’m perfect.”

“He loves me just the way I am. <3"

“Someone who truly loves you will never try to change you.”

The last one really gets me:

“Marry a man who loves your flaws.”

All of that sounds so sweet, doesn’t it? A man who thinks you’re perfect… That’s pretty much what every girl wants, right? A guy who things she is the greatest thing that ever walked on the face of the earth and therefore, he feels the need to worship the ground she walks on. Of course it is. You know what, though? Sometimes what we want isn’t always what we need.

In my opinion (humble as it may be), you should be dating/marrying someone who challenges you. Not in an antagonistic, “everything is a fight” kind of way, but rather an “I care about you so I want you to be the best you can be” kind of way. We need people that that in our lives, and if you date with the intention of finding the person you could potentially marry (as I belief you should) then who better to do that than the person who will possibly be your life partner? Of all people, you shouldn’t want that person to simply overlook the areas in which you need work!

I know this sounds a little strange and I am NOT advocating relationships in which one or both people try to change the other person into “the perfect mate.” Nor am I saying that it’s wrong for the person you’re dating to think you’re special. I happen to think my boyfriend’s pretty special because the more I get to know him, the more I find that we have enough things in common to get along while still being good complements to each other. I do not, however, think he’s perfect. I KNOW he’s not. He has great qualities, and he has some not-so-great qualities. In realizing that he’s not perfect, I’m able to help hold him accountable for things and he does the same for me. He and I challenge each other to be better people, yet we do so in a caring way.

If you’re dating someone who’s okay with you engaging in bad habits/attitudes, you should probably consider whether or not that person is good for you. You wouldn’t want to continue seeing a doctor who told you to slap a Band-Aid on a nasty cut. Why would you want to date/marry someone who lets you just cover up and ignore serious flaws in your character? It may feel better for the time being, but in the long run, it won’t do anyone any good –and isn’t that what marriage is? The long run?

I don’t want my boyfriend to think I’m perfect. I don’t want him to love my flaws. I don’t want him to find perfection where it doesn’t exist. While I do want a guy to love me for who I am, I don’t want one who never pushes me to change the things about myself that NEED to be changed -like my attitude from time to time.

Rather than be with someone who loves your flaws, you should want to be with someone who loves you despite your flaws, while always encouraging you to work on the areas that need it.
 

Thoughts, anyone?