While I'm Waiting
Before I post this, let me take a moment to explain my sporadic posting... I live in the middle of nowhere and do not have internet at home (except the 2 gigabytes on my phone). So, I'm pretty much having to just post when I can. Plus, I started my sophomore year of college two weeks ago and it's been busy... Anyway, that's my excuse. Moving on...
Today, I'm going to be merging Musical Monday with Wednesdays in God's Word (is that what I decided to call it??) because I have internet today and it makes sense.
Lately, I've been struggling with an old battle of mine -loneliness. Well... maybe not loneliness as much as just singleness. I have amazing, awesome, wonderful friends whom I love dearly, so I'm not exactly "lonely," but being single gets to you after a while.
I did the math the other day, y'all. I have been single for 99.983% of my life- and I will be twenty years old in a little over a month. Did you get that? Twenty years old, single, and no prospects. I've even taken to calling myself "the bitter old maid." A little dramatic, I know, but when you're twenty and single... you do what it takes to cope. By the way, it doesn't help to see engagement pictures and relationships statuses all over Facebook ALL THE TIME. Don' get me wrong. I'm happy for everyone, but if I said that seeing " added a life event... In a Relationship with " doesn't feel a little bit like someone pouring lemon juice on a paper cut, I'd be lying.
With all of that on my mind, I was texting a friend last night (more like complaining to a friend) and God laid something on my heart. This is what I ended up texting her (with a few corrections, of course):
I thought about it earlier, too. All my life I've wanted to go into ministry. That's pretty much it. Every career choice I've looked into has been centered around my having an avenue for ministry. If I get married, that's great, but that shouldn't be what defines whether or not my life is successful. I've also always said that I want my marriage to be one that adds to my ministry -and for some areas of ministry, marriage is very beneficial. Yet if I date just because I'm lonely or marry just to be married, that's not glorifying God. And considering what I've always envisioned for my marriage, I wouldn't be happy with that anyway... Ministry is my passion and I don't think I could deal with anyone who might damage that.
When I think about waiting, I sometimes get a little bit sick because I'm not a very patient person. Waiting is miserable for me... especially when it seems like I've been waiting my whole life (99.983%!!!!) for something that doesn't seem like it's any closer than it was two years ago. I'm sure I'm not alone in this, though. I'm sure most of us have gone through periods of waiting -sometimes seemingly endless periods, at that. Still, I know that even in those periods when we have to wait, we should never take our eyes off Jesus. Our Heavenly Father has each and every one of us where we are for a reason and we should allow ourselves to be led by the Holy Spirit no matter how lost or discouraged we may feel. If nothing else, God's Word has plenty to day about waiting:
Between John Waller's beautiful song and these verses, I have found a bit of comfort today and I hope you will be blessed as well.
Today, I'm going to be merging Musical Monday with Wednesdays in God's Word (is that what I decided to call it??) because I have internet today and it makes sense.
This is the song that's been on my heart all day.
"While I'm Waiting" by John Waller
Lately, I've been struggling with an old battle of mine -loneliness. Well... maybe not loneliness as much as just singleness. I have amazing, awesome, wonderful friends whom I love dearly, so I'm not exactly "lonely," but being single gets to you after a while.
I did the math the other day, y'all. I have been single for 99.983% of my life- and I will be twenty years old in a little over a month. Did you get that? Twenty years old, single, and no prospects. I've even taken to calling myself "the bitter old maid." A little dramatic, I know, but when you're twenty and single... you do what it takes to cope. By the way, it doesn't help to see engagement pictures and relationships statuses all over Facebook ALL THE TIME. Don' get me wrong. I'm happy for everyone, but if I said that seeing "
With all of that on my mind, I was texting a friend last night (more like complaining to a friend) and God laid something on my heart. This is what I ended up texting her (with a few corrections, of course):
I thought about it earlier, too. All my life I've wanted to go into ministry. That's pretty much it. Every career choice I've looked into has been centered around my having an avenue for ministry. If I get married, that's great, but that shouldn't be what defines whether or not my life is successful. I've also always said that I want my marriage to be one that adds to my ministry -and for some areas of ministry, marriage is very beneficial. Yet if I date just because I'm lonely or marry just to be married, that's not glorifying God. And considering what I've always envisioned for my marriage, I wouldn't be happy with that anyway... Ministry is my passion and I don't think I could deal with anyone who might damage that.
*Yes, I write LONG text messages.
When I think about waiting, I sometimes get a little bit sick because I'm not a very patient person. Waiting is miserable for me... especially when it seems like I've been waiting my whole life (99.983%!!!!) for something that doesn't seem like it's any closer than it was two years ago. I'm sure I'm not alone in this, though. I'm sure most of us have gone through periods of waiting -sometimes seemingly endless periods, at that. Still, I know that even in those periods when we have to wait, we should never take our eyes off Jesus. Our Heavenly Father has each and every one of us where we are for a reason and we should allow ourselves to be led by the Holy Spirit no matter how lost or discouraged we may feel. If nothing else, God's Word has plenty to day about waiting:
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young me shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
over the man who carries out evil devices!
Psalm 37:7
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
I wait for you all the day long.
Psalm 25:5
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!
Psalm 27:14
And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:7
*All scripture quotations come from the ESV
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!
Psalm 27:14
And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:7
*All scripture quotations come from the ESV
Between John Waller's beautiful song and these verses, I have found a bit of comfort today and I hope you will be blessed as well.
What about you? What are you waiting for?
What gives you peace while you wait?
THis was such a blessing for me to read, Ashley. Truly. Same age, same no prospects--but same great God as you!
ReplyDeleteLove this song. <3
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you! :)
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